Late-night fun in flyover country

Karol and Jessica (Halliburton's Sweetheart) flew from NYC to Dallas last weekend for a conservative film festival. Here's how they wound up their wild weekend:

Jessica and I spent our last night in Dallas at some sort of house music/sushi bar with two guys who are launching a online conservative 'tv' station this week. At 3am, the four of us ended up at Wal-mart snapping photos with a disposable camera and playing with soccer balls and talking Care Bears. Our flight was supposed to leave the next day at 5am but we called (from the Wal-mart, actually) and got it changed to a noon one.

They have discovered what we do for late-night entertainment out here. How can they be content with NYC nightlife now that they've sampled the electric atmosphere of a Supercenter at 3 am, as the aisles bustle with shelf-stockers?

Here's a contest for my readers: Rewrite lyrics for either of Petula Clark's '60s anthems about urban nightlife -- "Downtown" and "I Know a Place" -- to fit a late-night visit to a Wal-Mart Supercenter. I have no idea what the prize will be, beyond public recognition.

UPDATE: Jessica's blog is back and her account of the trip is up -- part 1 and part 2:

The boys were kind enough to provide true Texan entertainment at 3 a.m. by taking us to Wal-Mart. Highlights of our adventures in the glorious store were rapping to a toddler's speech education toy, posing for pictures with T-shirts that said 'Your future ex-girlfriend' and discussing which women's granny-like undergarments we preferred. And I couldn't think of a better way to say goodbye to Dallas.

Jessica hearts Waffle House, too. (Another of flyover country's late night hotspots!)