Taking the sin out of singleness

Funny, poignant -- For the Day of Atonement, Esther Kustanowitz presents a somewhat tongue-in-cheek litany of repentance for the single and dating. The first line of each three-sentence stanza is to be read by the men, the second by the women, and the third by both together. Some sample stanzas:

We have rejected you for being too fat or too plain. We have rejected you for being too short or too bald. We have judged you according to external appearances and drawn assumptions from the superficial.

We have told you that you were "like a sister" to us. We have told you that you were "a really great guy." We have lacked the fortitude to transition friendship into romance, and consigned you to the torment of "The Friend Zone."

We have eschewed dating in favor of hot wings and professional sports. We have eschewed dating in favor of Cosmos and "Sex and the City." We have escaped into comfort zones of food, alcohol and television to avoid potential heartbreak.

We have bantered too freely, creating a perceived depth to dialogue that was meant only at face value. We have flirted without follow-up, using subtle encouragement to convey enigmatic interest. We have left you in confusion, pondering the true intentions of our fearful hearts.

We have proposed second dates we had no intention of confirming. We have accepted second dates we had no intention of attending. We have chosen a slow fadeout over honesty, denying you the dignity of a truthful closure.

I remember some of that (especially "the torment of the Friend Zone"). Nice to have all that far back in the rear-view mirror.

You can find Esther's blog, My Urban Kvetch, here.

Updated links 2009/06/02