Naming rights: $10 million. Jaws hitting the floor: Priceless.

Charles G. Hill, writing about naming rights for Tulsa's new arena:

Of course, had I a spare ten million or so — the naming rights for Oklahoma City's Ford Center went for $8.1 million a few years back — I might be inclined to hang Michael Bates' name over the door, just to see the reaction from various T-Town types.

I'm honored, of course, and I'd love to see the initial reaction, too. The name, short as it is, would be a headline writer's dream -- and that's the problem. My good name would become shorthand for the place and all its problems, and since those headlines would be appearing in the Tulsa Whirled, they might make a special effort to exploit the ambiguity between the arena and its namesake. "Feds Arrest Bates" could be used for a story about how the acquisition of Federal properties on the site is holding up construction. "Bates Just an Empty Shell" could be printed after the walls come up. "Bates Blows Hole in City Budget" would be reserved for when the annual operating deficits begin to live up to predictions.

Charles's headline suggestion, "House of Funk," has many more fun headline possibilities, and has the added advantage of not requiring Charles to come up with ten million bucks.