"'Christian street' erupts at Verhoeven Jesus book"

Can you imagine this kind of reaction to Paul Verhoeven's rewrite of the Gospels?

A fifth day of rioting and bombings rocked North America and Europe as the Christian community reacted to news of a controversial biography of Jesus Christ. While public officials have appealed for calm, Christian rage seemed only to escalate yesterday as Pope Benedict issued a papal bull calling for the beheading of the book's author, Paul Verhoeven. Samaritan's Purse, a Christian "charity", has announced a $3.2 million reward for anyone fulfilling the papal bull....

Christian marketing groups responded to the controversy with a line of Precious Moments figurines featuring Verhoeven alternately immolated, beheaded or stoned to death. Artist Thomas Kinkade has completed a print of Verhoeven being beaten to death at sunset in a New England fishing village. Big Idea Productions has also announced the latest in its popular Veggie Tales line of children's films -- Larry and the Big Bang.

Of course, you can't. But Conservative Intelligencer can -- click through to read the whole story.

UPDATED 2024/07/24 to replace a broken link with a Wayback Machine link. Sadly, the crawler missed the illustrations that accompanied the story. As I update this, supporters of Hamas are rampaging through Washington, desecrating monuments and burning flags to protest a visit by Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu. But 11 days after Donald Trump was nearly killed by an assassin's bullet, his supporters have not rioted, despite their anger at the negligence of the agency that was supposed to be protecting him.