Man Terrified To Realize He Could Easily Go On Like This | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Man Terrified To Realize He Could Easily Go On Like This | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Another in a series of painfully insightful Onion stories. Is one writer responsible?

"Gallardo told reporters that as long as he could continue completing day-to-day activities such as doing laundry and grocery shopping, he would be perfectly capable of putting one foot in front of the other until he died--almost certainly alone--in about 40 years, a realization a frightened Gallardo said would nevertheless fail to alter his debilitating behavior in the slightest.

"'Some people take stock of their lives and finally say "enough is enough,"' Gallardo said. 'I can't do that. I'm pretty sure I won't ever do that. I think it's safe to say I'll keep putting up with myself year after year and simply never reach a breaking point. Jeez, that's awful. What am I going to do about this?'"

"'Forget it,' added Gallardo, shaking his head. 'I already know the answer to that.'"