Family: February 2014 Archives

Why do Teenagers Rebel? Thoughts from a 19-Year-Old Who Didn't

Rebecca Gregoire offers five reasons, but I think they can be boiled down to identification rather than alienation. Her parents established a strong family identity under God and cultivated that sense of identity in their children -- this is who were are as a family, and we are all in this together. This is a very convicting post, because it reminds me of family habits that I have failed to build and practice consistently. It's too easy to let everyone in the family focus on their own priorities and to neglect bringing everyone together for worship and prayer, for communication about important issues, and for fun.

Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds | Psychology Today

"The unloved daughter doesn't know that she is loveable or worthy of attention; she may have grown up feeling ignored or unheard or criticized at every turn. The voice in her head is that of her mother's, telling her what she isn't (smart, beautiful, kind, loving, worthy). Her accomplishments and talents will continue to be undermined by that internalized maternal voice, unless there is some kind of intervention. Daughters sometimes talk about feeling that they are 'fooling people' and express fear that they'll be 'found out' when they enjoy success in the world....

"When I was a child, my mother held me back by focusing on my flaws, never my accomplishments.   After college, I had a number of jobs but, at every one, my bosses complained that I wasn't pushing hard enough to try to grow.  It was only then that I realized that I was limiting myself, adopting my mother's view of me in the world."