Profound: February 2014 Archives
Why do Teenagers Rebel? Thoughts from a 19-Year-Old Who Didn't
Rebecca Gregoire offers five reasons, but I think they can be boiled down to identification rather than alienation. Her parents established a strong family identity under God and cultivated that sense of identity in their children -- this is who were are as a family, and we are all in this together. This is a very convicting post, because it reminds me of family habits that I have failed to build and practice consistently. It's too easy to let everyone in the family focus on their own priorities and to neglect bringing everyone together for worship and prayer, for communication about important issues, and for fun.
Your husband doesn't have to earn your respect | The Matt Walsh Blog
"Often, people will say that a husband should only be respected if he 'earns' it. This attitude is precisely the problem. A wife ought to respect her husband because he is her husband, just as he ought to love and honor her because she is his wife. Your husband might 'deserve' it when you mock him, berate him, belittle him, and nag him, but you don't marry someone in order to give them what they deserve. In marriage, you give them what you've promised them, even when they aren't holding up their end of the bargain."
Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds | Psychology Today
"The unloved daughter doesn't know that she is loveable or worthy of attention; she may have grown up feeling ignored or unheard or criticized at every turn. The voice in her head is that of her mother's, telling her what she isn't (smart, beautiful, kind, loving, worthy). Her accomplishments and talents will continue to be undermined by that internalized maternal voice, unless there is some kind of intervention. Daughters sometimes talk about feeling that they are 'fooling people' and express fear that they'll be 'found out' when they enjoy success in the world....
"When I was a child, my mother held me back by focusing on my flaws, never my accomplishments.  After college, I had a number of jobs but, at every one, my bosses complained that I wasn't pushing hard enough to try to grow. It was only then that I realized that I was limiting myself, adopting my mother's view of me in the world."
You Are What--and How--You Read - The Gospel Coalition Blog
Rosaria Butterfield writes that we need to look back to the past to find sound Christian counsel on indwelling sin and holy living.
"Worldview matters. And if we don't reach back before the 19th century, back to the Bible itself, the Westminster divines, and the Puritans, we will limp along, defeated. Yes, the Holy Spirit gives you a heart of flesh and the mind to understand and love the Lord and his Word. But without good reading practices even this redeemed heart grows flabby, weak, shaky, and ill. You cannot lose your salvation, but you can lose everything else.
"Enter John Owen. Thomas Watson. Richard Baxter. Thomas Brooks. Jeremiah Burroughs. William Gurnall. The Puritans. They didn't live in a world more pure than ours, but they helped create one that valued biblical literacy. Owen's work on indwelling sin is the most liberating balm to someone who feels owned by sexual sin. You are what (and how) you read. J. C. Ryle said it takes the whole Bible to make a whole Christian. Why does sin lurk in the minds of believers as a law, demanding to be obeyed? How do we have victory if sin's tentacles go so deep, if Satan knows our names and addresses? We stand on the ordinary means of grace: Scripture reading, prayer, worship, and the sacraments. We embrace the covenant of church membership for real accountability and community, knowing that left to our own devices we'll either be led astray or become a danger to those we love most. We read our Bibles daily and in great chunks. We surround ourselves with a great cloud of witnesses who don't fall prey to the same worldview snares we and our post-19th century cohorts do.
"In short, we honor God with our reading diligence. We honor God with our reading sacrifice. If you watch two hours of TV and surf the internet for three, what would happen if you abandoned these habits for reading the Bible and the Puritans? For real. Could the best solution to the sin that enslaves us be just that simple and difficult all at the same time? We create Christian communities that are safe places to struggle because we know sin is also "lurking at [our] door." God tells us that sin's "desire is for you, but you shall have mastery over it" (Gen. 4:7). Sin isn't a matter of knowing better, it isn't (only) a series of bad choices--and if it were, we wouldn't need a Savior, just need a new app on our iPhone."
A fictional news story gives expression to a Chestertonian view of the cult of progress.
"'When it comes to making a case for reordering the social order, we've failed to find any rhetorical strategy more effective or compelling than saying "It's 2014!" and asking why societal change hasn't occurred,' said policy analyst Brad Katz, adding that the argument was even more powerful when immediately followed with the phrases 'I mean, come on!' or 'for crying out loud!'"
G. K. Chesterton's comments: "My attitude toward progress has passed from antagonism to boredom. I have long ceased to argue with people who prefer Thursday to Wednesday because it is Thursday." - New York Times Magazine, 2/11/1923
Why Writers Are the Worst Procrastinators - Megan McArdle - The Atlantic
"If you've spent most of your life cruising ahead on natural ability, doing what came easily and quickly, every word you write becomes a test of just how much ability you have, every article a referendum on how good a writer you are....
"Most writers manage to get by because, as the deadline creeps closer, their fears of turning in nothing eventually surpasses their fears of turning in something terrible. But I've watched a surprising number of young journalists wreck, or nearly wreck, their careers by simply failing to hand in articles. These are all college graduates who can write in complete sentences, so it is not that they are lazy incompetents. Rather, they seem to be paralyzed by the prospect of writing something that isn't very good....
"Whether you are more fixed or more of a grower helps determine how you react to anything that tests your intellectual abilities. For growth people, challenges are an opportunity to deepen their talents, but for "fixed" people, they are just a dipstick that measures how high your ability level is. Finding out that you're not as good as you thought is not an opportunity to improve; it's a signal that you should maybe look into a less demanding career, like mopping floors.
"This fear of being unmasked as the incompetent you "really" are is so common that it actually has a clinical name: impostor syndrome. A shocking number of successful people (particularly women), believe that they haven't really earned their spots, and are at risk of being unmasked as frauds at any moment. Many people deliberately seek out easy tests where they can shine, rather than tackling harder material that isn't as comfortable.
"If they're forced into a challenge they don't feel prepared for, they may even engage in what psychologists call "self-handicapping": deliberately doing things that will hamper their performance in order to give themselves an excuse for not doing well."
(Via Joe Carter on Twitter.)
